There are five languages of love, according to a book written in 1992 by Gary Chapman… words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The book is called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

The easiest way to discover what someone’s love language is? Take note of what they do to you the most. If your partner is constantly surprising you with little gifts all the time, their love language is probably receiving gifts. If they are always complimenting you and reminding you how much they love you, their love language is probably words of affirmation.

If they’re constantly reaching over to touch you, their love language is obviously physical touch. If you always come home to a clean house with all chores completed, acts of service is probably their love language. If they’re constantly trying to schedule alone time with you, quality time is clearly the love language that suits them best.

Keep in mind that people are capable of having more than one love language!

If your partner’s love language is receiving gifts:

1. Surprise them with gifts when there isn’t a holiday

2. Go all out with gifts when there is a holiday

3. Buy gifts for them that have sentimental value

4. Listen to hints they drop about gifts they might want to receive

5. Remember that gifts don’t always have to be material items 

If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation:

1. Post sweet comments on their social media 

2. Write them a handwritten letter filled with sincere compliments and validation 

3. Say “I love you” often

4. Brag about them to others and speak highly of them as much as possible

5. Leave thoughtful voicemails and texts when they’re unable to answer the phone

If your partner’s love language is quality time:

1. Offer to join them when they’re running errands

2. Hang out near them when they’re doing things like studying or playing video games

3. Schedule uninterrupted date nights (No one else is allowed to intervene!)

4. Find good shows to binge-watch together

5. Prioritize alone time, just the two of you

If your partner’s love language is physical touch:

1. Gently touch their arm, their back, or part of their body whenever they pass by

2. Kiss them often and hug them tightly

3. Cuddle constantly

4. Touch them with an intimacy unrelated to sex

5. Find extra excuses for physical touch: Give them a massage, comb their hair out for them, sit close while watching TV

If your partner’s love language is acts of service:

1. Use the phrase, “I’ll help you with…” often

2. Do things for them before being asked 

3. If possible, help alleviate their workload

4. Honor promises that you make to get things done

5. Don’t list off all the helpful things you’ve done for them in a spiteful way during arguments

Relationships have so much more potential to thrive when the languages of love are properly addressed. Some love languages are more high maintenance to accommodate than others, but when you love someone, it’s worth it to make sure they feel loved.