Too often, we rely on external compliments to let us know what we are: pretty, smart, engaging, or charismatic.
There’s nothing wrong with that, nor indeed, letting a good compliment from someone boost our self-esteem.
But if we haven’t gotten any compliments lately, it can be hard not to reflect that onto ourselves, wondering if the reason we haven’t gotten any is that we’re really ugly, unintelligent, or some other negative trait.
While it’s hard to let such a thing hit your pride, Tiktoker Elisa Grey lets us know why such a thing doesn’t necessarily indicate anything wrong – and might even be a blessing in disguise.
No compliments from others should never impact your self-esteem
Elisa Grey tells us that NOT getting a compliment might be the biggest compliment of them all! When people look at someone they think is attractive, Elisa notes, they assume that the person in question must already know.
She explains, “People already think that you know that you’re hot. So they’re thinking: ‘there’s no need to validate.’”
Think about it: how often have you looked at a particularly attractive person and assumed they knew just how good-looking they really were?
Whether it was due to their hair, their eyes, their clothing, or just the way they carry themselves, there was no way that person didn’t know how good-looking they were.
But in fact, they might be bummed about the lack of compliments they receive because they think it’s an indicator of their unattractiveness.
This is a nice lesson in positivity, too: by offering up compliments to those you find attractive, you can help potentially help raise someone – and put out positive energy into the world.
“Stop equating your level of attractiveness with the amount of compliments you get,” Elisa tells us.
A good lesson, and a good thing to note: compliments and external validation are nice and fun, but confidence has to come from within.
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