Many couples argue over who should do the household chores, and laundry is often one of them. But if a partner who never liked doing it before suddenly starts insisting on doing it themselves, it could be a red flag, and in some cases, a sign they’re trying to hide evidence of an affair.

Experts at private detective agency UK Private Investigators have revealed five common behaviours that could point to a cheating partner to help you spot the subtle red flags.

1. Sudden interest in doing their own laundry

If your partner, who has never shown much interest in doing the laundry, suddenly starts insisting on washing their own clothes, this could be a red flag. If they are cheating, they may be worried about things like perfume, lipstick marks, or stray hairs on their clothes, and doing their own laundry allows them to hide these signs without you noticing. 

While doing the laundry isn’t inherently cheater behaviour, if you are already suspicious of your partner, it can raise even more red flags.

2. Unexplained mileage on their car

A change in mileage that doesn’t match up with your partner’s usual routine or work commitments can be another subtle but telling sign. If they claim to have been nearby, whether they said they were at work later than usual or at the gym, a large increase in mileage that doesn’t match up with this may indicate secret trips to meet someone. 

At the same time, if their mileage is much lower than you would expect, this can also be a sign. For example, if they tell you they are driving out of town on a work trip, yet their mileage increase doesn’t match up with this, it could point to them meeting somebody locally. While this sign alone is often overlooked, it can become more obvious that something is going on when paired with vague excuses from your partner or a change in their routine.

3.  New password protections 

Changes in privacy on your partner’s devices, like a new password, locked apps, or logging out of shared devices like a laptop, can suggest that they are hiding something. While everybody has a right to privacy, a sudden change in how much access you are given to their devices can be suspicious. It may indicate that they are trying to hide anything from texts to dating apps. According to research from Global Investigations, secretive phone habits are among the most common signs of infidelity.

4. Changes in spending patterns 

Things like unexplained expenses, hidden purchases, or unusual cash withdrawals can sometimes be a sign that your partner is being unfaithful. Whether they are buying dinners, gifts, hotel rooms, or transport, people having an affair tend to spend more money than usual.

If they start making more cash withdrawals than usual, or start to regularly carry cash when they never used to, this may suggest they want to spend without leaving any evidence of what they bought, especially if they become defensive or vague when questioned about where the money is going. 

5. Sudden changes in personal appearance 

A sudden, unexplained effort to improve appearance, such as new clothes, changes to their hair, or increased time at the gym, might be a sign of trying to impress someone new. While self-improvement and taking pride in their appearance isn’t suspicious in itself, it can be a red flag when they don’t tell you what their motivation is, or if they don’t show interest in your opinion or attention following the changes to their appearance. 

Infidelity in relationships is much more common than you might think. According to YouGov, one in five British adults says they have had an affair, and while the percentage of men and women who say they have had an affair is quite equal (20% and 19%, respectively), men are more likely to be repeat offenders, with 49% of cheating men having had multiple affairs, compared to 41% of cheating women.

Timothy Burchell, founder and owner of UK Private Investigators, has commented,

“There are many telltale signs that someone is being unfaithful in a relationship, but sometimes it’s the smaller things, like unexplained car mileage or doing their own laundry, that catch them out. While none of these red flags can be taken as solid proof, if your partner is displaying more than a few of these behaviours, it could potentially raise suspicion.

“Trust is the foundation of every relationship, and it is important to listen to your instincts if you suspect something is wrong. Whether they are hiding something or there is a more innocent explanation, being aware of these red flags can help you better understand your situation and decide what steps to take next.”