Kylie Jenner represents peak glam, beauty, and the true definition of what it means to live life in your soft girl era. And her aura is actually pretty inspiring in my own soft girl era.

I’m an independent pop culture journalist after spending the last seven years writing for iHeartRadio, RapTV, and other outlets. I do a lot of deep dives in to my fave shows, movies, and celebs, and right now I’m covering the ways Kylie pushed me into my soft girl era this year.

Witnessing her tiny social circle

According to Daily Mail, Kylie talked about friendships in 2014 saying, “I definitely don’t make many friends. It’s my choice, I just have a wall; it’s not that I have anything against anyone.”

Kylie’s friendships consist mainly of Stassie Baby, Jordyn Woods ever since they reconciled, Yris Palmer, Hailey Bieber, her former assistant Victoria V, and a handful of other close people who she trusts.

I feel that embracing a tiny social circle allows women to lean into their soft girl era, because you aren’t constantly worrying about getting backstabbed, betrayed, or disappointed.

I have been stabbed in the back so aggressively by girls I loved and trusted, and I’ve now gotten to a place of peace and acceptance about having a tiny social circle that makes me feel safe and seen.

I’ve had countless friendships with girls who started treating me weird at different stages of my life, even though it was only love coming from me.

One example is a friendship I lost after I got married and my relationship with my husband started strengthening. When this friend and I used to get together to hang out, I would vent about drama with my husband while she vented about drama with hers. It was extremely low vibrational, but that’s what we were doing. After my wedding, my husband and I resolved a lot of the issues we were having and our relationship got stronger. But my friendship with that girl seemingly fell apart because of it. We no longer connected when I wasn’t venting about my husband and she sort of just ghosted me. If I’m being honest, I’d rather enjoy a more solidified marriage with my husband, than maintain a friendship with that girl when the main reason we connected was over something so low vibrational. I wish we could’ve still been friends even after my relationship improved, but I no longer had negative complaints to make about my husband anymore.

Separately from that, I lost a friendship with a girl I was really close with after moving to Las Vegas because she was acting extremely clingy, needy, and possessive of my time. She made me feel extremely overwhelmed, so I distanced myself from her. To this day, I know I’m considered the villain in her story.

I lost another friendship with a girl I loved and cherished because of her political beliefs that made me feel incredibly unsafe as a black woman in this country. I found out who she voted for, and the alignment of her politics. It absolutely broke my heart.

I also lost friendships with a couple of girls I was really close to from my dance studio with no warning whatsoever. To this day, it still makes me feel pretty sad if I’m being honest. They went from being really supportive and friendly towards me with their social media interactions to suddenly stopping all social media interactions overnight. They sort of turned on me while I was traveling to Bali with my husband. I was really confused because they went from liking and commenting on all my posts and viewing all my stories, to suddenly ghosting me on social media in the middle of my vacation. To this day I still don’t know exactly what happened.

But what I’ve learned from all the friendship losses I’ve experienced over the years is that it’s perfectly okay to embrace a tiny social circle, similar to what Kylie Jenner has done.

It’s a sign of leaning into my soft girl era by respecting myself enough to surround myself with people who make me feel safe and seen, even if that group of people is tiny enough to be counted on one hand.

Feeling safe and seen happens through social media support, political stances, and everything in between.

I’d rather have one or two good friends who actually love me and have my best interest than 100 acquaintances who don’t care about me or who are secretly praying on my downfall.

In 2016, Kylie tweeted, “Pay close attention to the people who don’t clap when you win.”

And that stood out to me a lot. The people you’re closest with should celebrate your wins with you.

If you feel like you have to tone down your success stories and your wins in front of your friends, then they probably aren’t good friends to begin with.

Leaning into my soft girl era similar to Kylie has meant that I’ve embraced a smaller social circle of about three people who I can genuinely lean on and trust as friends.

I’m open-minded and I have an open heart to welcoming new friendships if that ever happens, but I’m not desperately seeking that out by any stretch of the imagination.

Forgiving my younger self

In a 2026 installment of Instagram’s Close Friends Only, Kylie said, “I think I look back and I have so much grace for my [younger] self.”

I love that she said that and it really goes hand-in-hand with the way I’ve been pushed into my soft girl era as I’ve been inspired by the way Kylie lives her life.

Forgiving my younger self is a daily decision I have to make literally every day. Because sometimes I get reminded of memories that fill me with shame and regrets that weigh me down. I have to consistently keep forgiving my young self for all the stupid things I did.

And I have to remember that often times, I was making the best decision I possibly could with the information I had at the time. And I have to forgive myself for the things I did when I really just wanted to be loved.

At the end of the day, a lot of the decisions I made were based around the internal need I had to be loved. Blame it on my abandonment wounds from my dad leaving my family when I was 13. Blame it on my mother’s overbearing, overly strict, overly critical parenting style that made me feel completely suffocated. Blame it on the fact that I grew up on the receiving end of racism as a school kid, which made me angry about my hair texture, my skin color, and my lip size. Whatever the cause of my desire really was is kind of irrelevant. I had a deep-rooted desire to feel loved because of the hole in my heart from so many areas of trauma.

But wanting to be loved is a normal human desire. Everyone wants to feel loved. Everyone wants to feel seen, heard, and validated. But throughout my early 20s, I made so many mistakes, especially regarding the guys I chose to date, because I wanted to experience love so badly. So as an adult reflecting back on that time, I have to constantly forgive myself over and over for the mistakes I made when I was younger, similar to what Kylie was talking about in that quote.

I think that self-forgiveness truly helps push me into my soft girl era because if I’m not allowing self forgiveness, it means I am staying in a state of fight or flight, humiliation, self rage, anger, bitterness, and resentment. And all of those things are the opposite of being in relaxed, calm, and cozy in my soft girl era.

Making self-love my obsession

Kylie Jenner has turned self-love into her own personal obsession and I’ve done the same, which has absolutely helped to push me further into my soft girl era.

According to Refinery29, Kylie talked about her daughter Stormi saying, “I want to be an example for her. What kind of example would I be if she said she didn’t like her ears, and then I didn’t like [mine] either? I just want to teach her that. I’m trying to love myself more.”

Kylie said this back in 2018, not long after Stormi was born. I myself am childfree by choice forever, so the birth of a daughter will never influence my thoughts on anything, but the sentiment from Kylie remains regardless. Practicing self-love is something all women should do, with or without daughters looking up to us.

Some of have sisters, friends, co-workers, classmates, and other people who are paying attention to the way we treat ourselves every day. Are we treating ourselves with love and respect? It’s a question I ask myself, because the level of self-love we each have is something other people can easily analyze and pick up on, even if we don’t realize people are quietly observing us and taking mental notes.

The way we talk about ourselves, carry ourselves, dress ourselves, feed ourselves, and treat ourselves is evidence to other people of how much we love ourselves or not.

When my self-love is low, I dress like a slob, eat junk food, slouch my shoulders, and allow my negative inner dialogue to consume me. And I’m sure other people notice the deterioration. The same thing applies when I pour into myself, water my own garden, and take care of my body. People notice that and it becomes obvious that I love and respect myself.

Times Now says Kylie once said, “It’s about being who you are. If people can’t accept it, too bad.”

And I love that quote from her because it really rings true. If the people around me can’t accept me for who I am, then it’s not even slightly relevant.

I need to accept myself for who I am. I need to love myself for who I am. I’m the one who has to live with myself every day. I’m the one who wakes up and falls asleep with myself every day. So if other people don’t accept me, then that doesn’t dictate my life decisions. I’m the one who needs to accept me.

That same outlet says Kylie said, “Self-confidence is everything. When you believe in yourself and your abilities, there’s no limit to what you can achieve.”

And this is something else I really do agree with. If you already assume you’re going to fail at something before you’ve even started, then you are definitely going to fail. But if you have self-confidence and you believe in yourself and your abilities as Kylie talked about, then the chances of your dreams materializing actually becomes a lot more realistic.

I used to believe that we have the power to manifest anything into our lives, and I don’t necessarily fully subscribe to that narrative anymore, but I do think that achieving our goals at the most basic level starts with having self-confidence and believing we are capable instead of counting ourselves out at the very beginning with hopelessness.

Having high standards when dating

In 2013, Kylie tweeted, “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”

And it stuck with me. Girls have no business dating guys who treat us like we are boring, mediocre, or disposable. It makes me really sad whenever I hear my friends venting about guys who have them stuck in the situationships, friends with benefits arrangements, or casual shenanigans.

Girls should never be treated like we are ordinary. We should only be romantically connected with men who see us as their dream girl. When I was in the process of trying to meet my husband, I was very specific in all my journal entries that I wanted to attract a husband who saw me as his dream girl. I maintained my high standards in dating, which is something I’ve also noticed about Kylie Jenner as well.

She went from relationships with guys like Tyga who cheated and Travis Scott who refused to commit, to a relationship with a guy like Timothee Chalamet who gave her the most romantic and thoughtful shoutout during hid acceptance speech for his Critics Choice Award. Idk if Kylie and Timothee will last forever, but I will say, this relationship has been an upgrade compared to her former relationships.

In 2013, Kylie tweeted, “Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.”

This is soft girl era 101, because having high standards in dating stems from respecting yourself and loving yourself, before someone else enters the picture. Falling in love with yourself first helps you avoid toxic relationships where you’ll be manipulated, abused, and treated poorly. Women in their soft girl era attract partners who allow us to be soft. Our partners make us feel emotionally safe. Shout out to my husband.

Handling stress with grace

Kylie once said, “There are definitely moments when I get stressed out. I’ll take the week off and spend more time with Stormi, or I like to go on trips when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I just have my little message in life. I feel that we all do, even if you’re not famous. As human beings, we get stressed out and we all have our little way of coming back together.” She said that to Harpers Bazaar in 2019.

According to Times Now, Kylie also said, “Every time I start to get worked up over something, I just think to myself, ‘Is this really going to matter in my life tomorrow, in an hour, in a year? You just can’t get stressed about the little things.”

In 2013, she tweeted, “Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful.”

So based on a lot of the things she has said about stress management, she’s given fans the blueprint about how to handle stress with grace as a form of leaning into your soft girl era. Stress causes cortisol to surge through your veins and make you feel like life isn’t worth living. Handling stress with grace puts you into your soft girl era, and this is something I personally pay a lot of attention to.

My history of living a stress-filled life in survival mode has caused health issues like PCOS and insomnia to develop in me. Being in my soft girl era means I’m allowing myself to unplug, unwind, and decompress from my daily stresses. I do so by taking afternoon naps when I need them, keeping my phone on Do not Disturb 24/7 with my husband as the only person who can get through to me all day, and doing guided nervous system regulation meditations on YouTube frequently.

Turn my passion into my career

In 2019, Kylie told Harpers Bazaar, “I never even knew that you can really turn your passion into a business, you know. I just followed my heart and went with how I felt. Now I just feel so blessed every day to wake up, have fun doing what I love and make a career out of it. It’s amazing!”

This is another major sign of a woman in her soft girl era, and it’s something that has heavily inspired me. My soft girl era was never going to thrive as a worker bee in the system being bossed around by nitpicky editors throughout my career as a journalist. It was also never going to thrive if I kept working at jobs that were completely misaligned with my spirit and soul purpose.

Kylie found alignment by becoming a makeup mogul with the launch of Kylie Cosmetics. I’m finding alignment by becoming a yoga instructor and sound bath healer, and I’m currently finishing my 200 hour yoga certification as we speak so I can live my truth. I’m also finding alignment with the success of this pop culture YouTube channel.

I love doing deep dives into my favorite shows, movies, and celebs because it gives me such peaceful escape from the reality of this ruthless world. I love sharing insightful and well-researched information with an audience who’s interested and engaged with this type of content.

Pursuing my passions of being a yoga instructor and running this pop culture channel allow me to live a more fulfilled life, which in turn, allows me to lean into my soft girl era, similar to what Kylie has done with Kylie Cosmetics and her other businesses. All women who want to lean into their soft girl era are capable of this.