I think jealousy is quite literally the biggest poison in female friendship, and I’m honestly so over it.

I know female friendship would be so much stronger if everyone just wanted to see each other win and there were no silent one-sided competitions going on… like what we witnessed between Cassie and Maddy on Euphoria, Blair and Serena on Gossip Girl, Sharpay and Gabriella on High School Musical, Cady and Regina on Mean Girls, and so many other examples.

Can you imagine how powerful society would be if women just supported each other, loved each other, and wanted to see each other win without any modicum of jealousy added into the mix?

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason, and that’s because it has quite literally led to death in some cases for people in the real world.

Friends being jealous of each other for various reasons has become a motivating and driving factor towards murder. Which I find absolutely insane.

This topic really hits home for me because I’ve lost out on a handful of friendships that were near and dear to my heart over jealousy, which really pisses me off and breaks my heart.

It makes me really sad because I don’t consider myself a person anyone should be jealous of. I have not come anywhere close to reaching my goals or achieving my dreams.

But I’ve had friends completely fall off and turn on me in the coldest way based on different things that have happened in my life.

Most recently, I had a couple of friends who I really cared about decide to completely ghost me on social media last fall. The three of us were really cool with each other, and we got along really well, and I felt like our friendship was moving in the right direction.

But randomly, one day overnight, they both completely ghosted me on social media. They didn’t block me or unfollow me. I’m pretty sure they both just muted me.

I kind of think they had a private conversation with each other about it behind my back because overnight, they both suddenly just ghosted all of my social media content.

They went from liking and commenting on all my stuff to suddenly just completely ignoring every single post I shared on social media. And it made me feel VERY confused because I was liking and commenting on all of their content.

However, suddenly they just completely ghosted me on social media with no warning. I was sitting there questioning myself, like, what did I do?

But for more context, they ghosted me in the middle of my trip to Bali in October 2025. I went with my husband because I needed a mental health reset. They had no idea what was going on with me behind closed doors; they just saw that I was posting pics and videos of myself in Bali on an international trip.

They probably just got really annoyed that I was sharing so much Bali content. So I’m pretty sure they muted me. But I was in such a sad place mentally because I had a fallout with some of my family members and some of my husband‘s family members about politics right before we left.

Finding out that people in our family are Trump supporters was causing a lot of sadness and drama in my life, and I wanted to drop everything and run away to Bali for a while. So my husband and I booked a 21-day trip to Bali to get out of America for a while.

I specifically chose Bali because I wanted to get back on track with my spiritual journey since my manifestation felt stalled, and my business goals felt like they weren’t materializing.

I had so much sad stuff going on in my life, but when it comes to social media, you don’t necessarily post all of your saddest moments and secrets. You just post the highlights.

So I was posting the most enjoyable, beautiful, and exciting moments from my time in Bali. My “friends” saw that and decided to just ghost me on social media. Which was extremely hurtful, and I never got answers from them about why they did it.

I was told not to make assumptions about why they ghosted me on social media and to ask them directly before jumping to conclusions, but I really do find that conversation extremely awkward. Imagine me walking up to them and asking, “Were you jealous of me or mad at me that I was vacationing in Bali, and that’s why you muted me on social media?”

That just seems very awkward and uncomfortable to say to someone’s face. So I’ve never brought it up. And things never went back to normal, even though I still see them around. The shitty part is that it still feels weird between them now when I see them in person.

You’d like to think that a person’s behavior towards you on social media wouldn’t leak into the way. They treat you in the real world, but the vibes just always feel a little bit off now. And it just sucks because, as much as you don’t want to put an emphasis on social media, social media really does matter in this modern era. It’s the way people stay connected.

It’s the way friends show up for each other when you don’t see each other every day. And the fact that double-tapping your friends’ videos and pictures is completely free and takes less than a second of your time speaks volumes. If someone can’t show up in a supportive way that doesn’t even cost them time or money, I feel like they’re really sending you a message! Which is what those two friends did to me.

So no, I can’t actually say with full confirmation that they were jealous that my husband and I were able to drop everything and dip off to Bali for 21 days, but I am capable of coming to realistic conclusions based on all the evidence stacked in front of me. And it makes me sad that it feels like these friendships aren’t the same as they once were.

Another example is a friend I grew really close to for about a year leading up to my wedding. She was one of the personal trainers at my gym, and I hung out with her every single week leading up to my wedding. She was preparing me for my wedding day with so much support and encouragement to get into the best shape of my life before walking down the aisle.

I really trusted her and started seeing her like a sister, but the problem is that whenever we got together, she vented about drama she was going through with her husband, and I would vent to her about drama with my husband, who was my fiancé at the time.

The bulk of my complaints had to do with how stressful our engagement was and the fact that we were NOT doing well financially. At the time, our finances were really tight, and planning for a wedding pretty much drains you of all your resources. Our wedding costs were flying so high, and every little thing that was getting tacked on was so fucking expensive.

The entire engagement was so financially stressful on both of us, so whenever I got together with this friend of mine (I’ll call her Jane), it was nice to be able to unload and share some of my concerns and worries with her about everything going on. We were both venting about the men in our lives, and we saw each other as a safe space to say the things we needed to say.

One of the big differences between us is that the issues she was having with her husband were probably slightly a little more serious than the issues I was having with mine… because her husband had actually betrayed her with infidelity. So I couldn’t fully relate to that.

Because from my perspective, if my husband were to cheat on me, I would just be done with him. I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same. I wouldn’t be able to trust him. And I wouldn’t have any interest in trying to continually make the relationship work after he did something so trifling. But she was constantly complaining about her husband while also making excuses for the way he betrayed her.

Anyway, fast forward to after my actual wedding day. I got married, and things in my own marriage improved exponentially. My husband‘s financial situation got 1000 times better. We both started feeling so much happier because the big issue we had was trying to get our wedding fully paid for. So when the wedding was paid for, and everything was all said and done, we were on the OTHER side of the drama.

We were able to move forward in our marriage and just start living a happier, more cohesive life together. But the drama in Jane’s marriage lived on because their drama wasn’t about anything temporary. It was about the fact that he had cheated on her. He had an affair.

So while I was entering a phase of life where my marriage was becoming blissful and happy, things for her were staying in a very dark and negative place. And eventually, I think we must’ve gotten to a point where she felt we weren’t relating to each other anymore because she also ghosted me.

I was no longer venting about my husband. I no longer had anything negative or bad to say about my husband. So the way she and I used to connect no longer made sense. And she completely disappeared from my life.

As in, I texted her, making trying to make plans to get together, and she just never responded. I followed up a couple of times via text and Instagram DM, and just never heard back. Losing that friendship definitely made me feel sad. Losing her was nowhere near as traumatizing as losing another friend I really loved who turned out to be MAGA. But this friendship loss was still very hurtful because we were really close for the entire year leading up to my wedding.

Losing her so abruptly fucking sucked. But if I think about it from her perspective, it probably wasn’t abrupt. She probably thought about it for a while there… that I wasn’t a fun vibe to hang out with anymore, since I wasn’t venting about my husband anymore. Could I ever outright ask her, “Are you jealous of the fact that my husband and I are on good terms and you’re still having problems with your husband?“ Absolutely not.

So unfortunately, it’s a case of me drawing conclusions based on the evidence that has been stacked in front of me. And I wish I could have a solid answer, but that just doesn’t feel like the type of question you drop on somebody.

I have other examples too, but there’s no need to dive into them. What it really comes down to is the heartache and frustration I have because I don’t understand why these friendships had to fade out and end. I’m happy for my friends when they’re doing things that are dope, even if they’re doing things I wish I could do myself.

Two girls I’ve been following for the last couple of years landed book deals with major publications, and if you know anything about me, you know that is my absolute dream. It’s my biggest dream in the world to have a book professionally published. But not for a single second did it cross my mind to ghost their content, stop supporting them, block them, unfollow them, or start viewing them in a negative light.

I’ve been hyping them up, boosting their content, and praising them for their journey, because I know it’s not an easy journey or an overnight journey to land a book deal. They put in work, and they’re reaping those benefits right now. I see their success as motivation for what I can possibly achieve for myself someday.

Whenever I go to my pole dancing studio, I’m surrounded by girls who can do these incredible spins on the pole that I have not been able to accomplish yet. Instead of getting bitter, envious, and resentful of their talent, I see them as inspiration for what I myself will eventually be able to achieve.

I think being jealous is a waste of time. I also think it might slightly be part of the human condition to have momentary pangs of jealousy every once in a while. But it comes down to the way you reframe your thoughts and how much time you spend dwelling in the negativity of them.

I’d rather find inspiration and motivation in the lives of people who are doing things I want to do someday myself. That feels better than letting jealousy consume me. And I can’t even wrap my head around the idea of losing a friendship over jealousy. If you really love your friend, then you’ll want to see them win, and it’s as simple as that.