I noticed that Vanessa Abrams gets the short end of the stick often on Gossip Girl.

She’s hated by the Gossip Girl fandom, and I definitely partially understand why, but I also feel like she deserved better in multiple scenarios.

Common reasons why people complain about Vanessa on social media platforms are that she can be very judgmental and hypercritical of wealthy people on the Upper East Side. She acts more superior to her peers who are richer than her, and in a lot of cases, that has pissed viewers off. But despite all of that, I’ve still noticed instances where Vanessa was treated unfairly and absolutely deserved better. I’m not saying her pretentious, overly judgmental, and holier-than-thou personality wasn’t really frickin’ annoying sometimes. But I do think there were moments when she deserved for things to turn out better than they did. So let’s get into it.

Nate Archibald treated her like sh*t

Vanessa was head over heels in love with Nate Archibald while they were dating on Gossip Girl, but the unfortunate truth is that he treated her pretty badly. Their relationship started in season one, even though Vanessa was slightly rude to Nate when they first met. She assumed he was another stuck-up, rich kid, but her heart softened for him when she found the practice essay he wrote for the SATs about the drama he was facing with his parents. Vanessa had little to no patience for wealthy upper East insiders, but when she realized Nate was actually going through adversity and trying to overcome his own obstacles, it made her instantly open her heart to him. Their relationship strengthened at the snowflake ball when he decided to shut Jenny Humphrey out forever and dive headfirst into his relationship with Vanessa. But things took a very random, bizarre, and heartbreaking turn for Vanessa before they could really build together because she found out about his secret affair with Duchess Catherine Beaton. Vanessa tried to handle the situation, and in doing so, she made things even messier in Nate’s life since Catherine had been blackmailing Nate about his father‘s whereabouts. Vanessa meddled in the situation and screwed things up, which ultimately led to Nate dumping her. They reconnected in season three and made plans to enjoy a summer backpacking trip to Europe together, but their romantic getaway turned into another breakup. The exact reason is never really given to Gossip Girl viewers. Vanessa described the situation to Dan, saying that she and Nate had hooked up one night in Prague, but nothing serious had amounted from it. So it honestly kind of sounds like Nate treated her like a hit it and quit it situation in Europe and then bounced. Vanessa idealized her relationship with Nate, but he treated her like she was disposable.

When Jenny Humphrey betrayed her

Vanessa definitely deserved better than whatever she went through with Jenny Humphrey. Vanessa wasn’t innocent during her initial fallout from her friendship with Jenny, but the aftermath of what she went through was still super problematic. Vanessa deserved better because she and Jenny grew up treating each other like sisters, and they were super close. They had a lot of history from years worth of friendship standing back to childhood. At one point, Vanessa even helped Jenny convince Rufus to allow Johnny to be homeschooled. Vanessa really had Jenny‘s back. But they allowed a boy to get in the way, which is often the downfall of many female friendships. Vanessa is insecure about Nate and Jenny liking each other, so she stole the letter Nate wrote for Jenny and kept it to herself. Jenny clapped back by dressing Vanessa in a see-through dress for the snowflake ball. Vanessa was actually planning to be the bigger person and had every intention of telling the truth about the stolen letter and apologizing to Jenny that evening. But it was too late for them to reconcile their friendship at that point because Jenny had already gone out of her way to humiliate Vanessa. Betrayal never happens from enemies. It comes from people who you’re the closest to. And that’s why Jenny’s betrayal of Vanessa cut her so deep.

When her own mother judged her college dreams

Vanessa deserved better regarding her interactions with her mother. Her mom was super critical of her decision to pursue higher education. After catching a glimpse of Vanessa‘s mom on Gossip Girl, it becomes abundantly clear where Vanessa gets her hypercritical attitude from. Her mom is super judgmental of things she doesn’t understand or approve of, including the education you have to pay for and invest in. Her mom believes education should be freely accessible to everyone, which is definitely a wonderful thought to have. But since it’s not freely accessible to everyone in America, she shouldn’t have guilt-tripped Vanessa for pursuing higher education anyway. She made Vanessa feel inadequate and stupid for choosing to enroll in classes at NYU instead of being a supportive mother who was excited about her daughter‘s future.

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