I’m tired of being labeled controversial because I’ve decided to be childfree by choice. I get more solidified in my decision to remain childfree every single day.

But the one problematic detail about my childfree lifestyle that lingers is the fact that I’m on the receiving end of judgment from people who think my decision is wildly controversial. I noticed that Miley Cyrus has gotten similar critiques, so I’ll get into those details in a bit.

I’ve been called ignorant for “willfully choosing to end my bloodline.” I’ve been told that I’m a red flag as a woman because I’m wasting my womb, and that no man would ever want to settle down with me because of this. I’ve been called outright selfish for opting for a childfree lifestyle as well.

Being called ignorant for willfully choosing to end my bloodline doesn’t hit me as an insult. It actually fills me with peace, knowing I’m not bringing a child into this world who will eventually become a labor slave, battling against capitalism, debt, never-ending bills, and taxes. Because once you’re born, unless your parents are millionaires, you will be forced to participate in the workforce in order to survive. In some cases, forced to work at jobs that demolish your happiness, drain your energy, and give you anxiety, because even if you did everything right, there’s no guarantee you’ll achieve success or financial freedom.

I studied hard in school, graduated from college, built a professional portfolio, spent years networking, and beyond. But I still lost my seven-year career in professional journalism to AI, during the 2025 sweep when 600,000 black women collectively all lost our jobs at the same time. I was part of that statistic, despite my best efforts to prop myself up for success. There’s no guarantee you’ll find a safe place in the workforce. Because there’s no guarantee of anything.

According to the wise words of Benjamin Franklin back in 1789, “In this world nothing else is certain except death and taxes.” And if I choose to bring a child onto this planet, that’s exactly what they would be facing, too.

I’m personally very happy that I have the option to end my bloodline. I think about my ancestors who were forced to breed like cattle during the era of slavery and all the women of my bloodline before me who gave up their bodies, youth, and autonomy because they were forced into motherhood against their will. And it fills me with joy to know that my ancestors are looking down on me, feeling relieved for me, and happy for me that I have the freedom to choose. So no, I don’t take it as an insult for someone to call me ignorant for my choice to be childfree.

The comments about me being a red flag and a wasted womb who will never find a man to marry me make me laugh, too. I’m so grateful to be happily married to my husband, who would never pressure me to have children. We talked about it before we got married, and I told him my stance on everything. And guess what? He told me he loved me just the same.

The people who’ve called me selfish for my choice to stay childfree are also amusing. I’ve always been so curious to understand who I’m being selfish to when I’ve never conceived a baby in the first place. If the thought process is that I’m being selfish to my hypothetical future baby who doesn’t even exist, then the logic behind that insult just doesn’t hold any water. As a childfree woman with no dependents, I’m not selfish. It would be selfish of me to have kids and then continue trying to live the same lifestyle I currently live with my random travel plans, my afternoon naps, and my very sporadic freelance work schedule. I’d have to prioritize my kids if I had kids, but since I don’t, there’s no one I’m being selfish towards.

Last year, Miley Cyrus shared her thoughts on being childfree by choice, and she was met with tons of support, but she was also met with a shit ton of backlash and criticism. I grew up watching Hannah Montana, so I’ve been a fan of Miley since childhood. Her willingness to speak so boldly on this topic means a lot to me since the motherhood track is what is seen as normal. Those of us who choose to be childfree are considered the weirdos. We’re considered the selfish freakazoids, who “don’t know how to be nurturing or loving.” The way childfree women are described is actually insane, and looking through comment sections on social media from people discussing Miley‘s decision to be childfree has me feeling a bit confused about whether or not we’re stuck in the 1950s.

On The New York Times Interview podcast, Miley said, “My stepdad asked me the other day: ‘Why are you the only one without a makeup line?’ I was like, ‘Cause that’s not my passion.’ He goes, ‘That’s the right answer.’ And it made so much sense. It’s like, ‘I don’t have a makeup line because I’m not a makeup artist.’ I feel that way about motherhood. It’s just never been something that I’ve been overly passionate about. It’s a lot of responsibility and devotion and energy, and if you’re not passionate about that, I don’t know how you do sleepless nights and 18 years of what my mom dealt with.”

One of the first comments I saw was from a man saying, “She’s the perfect example of someone in the spotlight we shouldn’t be using as an example.“

A woman chimed in to say, “She’ll never know the joy of being a mother, which is the most selfless act of love. I’m glad she’s not reproducing.”

Someone else, presumably a man, wrote, “Her womb is useless for society anyway. Sad life.”

Other comments flooded in from people calling her selfish, claiming she cares more about the gratification of her personal freedom, telling her how much she’s going to regret it when she’s older, telling her she’s not going to make it into heaven, and even people sarcastically thanking God that she’s not procreating.

The comment section made me feel a bit frustrated and annoyed that the mentality towards childfree women is still stuck so far in the past. It makes me question when there will ever be real progress. I feel like the feminist movement has been derailed under this current administration along with the rise of red pill rhetoric across social media.

I’ve received some of the ugliest comments from haters, similar to what I saw Miley getting whenever I’ve shared thoughts on my own decision to stay childfree. It’s exhausting that we live in a time when childfree women are still so heavily vilified for choosing a different life path. Another detail that really disturbs me is that whenever childfree women like myself speak out about our experience, people flood into our comment sections to tell us we’re overcompensating because we secretly really wish we had kids. Or they claim that we’re bragging and trying to rub our freedom in everyone’s face.

The argument that were overcompensating by sharing our thoughts on being childfree doesn’t make any sense because parents constantly post about what it’s like having kids all the time, and no one makes claims that they’re overcompensating for their lifestyle decision. Moms and dads post about their kids all the time. There are thousands of mommy blogs published across the internet. Parenting content is so common and normalized, and childfree people don’t typically leave hate comments when we see that stuff. But for some odd reason, when childfree people share content about our choice not to have kids, we get vilified for it.

The claim that we’re trying to brag about our freedoms is also pretty insane. A typical post from a childfree person describing their leisurely day off might include them waking up at 10 am, getting their nails done, grabbing some lunch with a friend, taking an afternoon nap, doom scrolling TikTok for a couple of hours, and enjoying the peace and quiet of their clean and tidy home. If that post comes across as a brag to parents of the world, then parents who have taken offense to that need to do a little bit of inner reflection to understand why that type of post is so triggering. The reality is that choosing to have kids automatically guarantees that you WILL lose certain freedoms you once had before you became a parent. It’s not bragging to acknowledge that. Jumping in the car for an errand and driving off in less than 30 seconds, instead of hassling with a toddler in their car seat for five minutes, is an example of what I’m talking about. Using extra money from a paycheck to pay down debt or book a spontaneous trip, instead of using that money for childcare needs, is another example. Taking an afternoon nap in a completely silent home with no toys on the floor is another example of a natural freedom that childfree people can enjoy on a daily basis. It’s just what our life effortlessly consists of, so posting about it shouldn’t be vilified or labeled as bragging.

Back in 2019, Miley also spoke up about her childfree stance with Elle Magazine, saying, “We’re getting handed a piece-of-shhh planet, and I refuse to hand that down to my child. Until I feel like my kid would live on an earth with fish in the water, I’m not bringing in another person to deal with that.”


A lot of people dismiss statements like that because they think it sounds overly dramatic and exaggerated. But she said that because multiple populations of fish are in rapid decline right now. According to Ocean Connections, about 30% of freshwater fish are currently facing the threat of extinction thanks to climate change and the negative impact of humans on this planet.

A super dismissive yet common phrase I hear from people is that the world has never been the best, but that hasn’t stopped past generations from reproducing anyway. And to that, the same response has always come to mind. Maybe human beings SHOULD have been reconsidering their decision to continue populating this earth throughout past generations. Because at this point in time, our earth is facing a lot of challenges, from war to disease and everything in between. Humankind doesn’t even know how to distribute our resources in an equitable way. Some parts of the world have given in to unsustainable levels of consumption, while others across the globe are starving and suffering.

The crazy part is that our planet does naturally produce enough food, water, energy, and organic resources to sustain all human life, but the disproportionate strain on our environment due to corrupt governmental systems and billionaires has screwed things up for pretty much everyone.

So I really do agree with what Miley had to say about not wanting to bring kids onto this planet until a few things get better. In other words, seeing scientific proof that human beings are making enough positive changes to start combating climate change, protecting endangered species, prioritizing clean water over data centers, and beyond. But honestly, it doesn’t seem like any of that is a real possibility.

For Miley, it sounds like she is open to changing her mind if the world does change for the better, and I know she’s engaged to marry Max Marando, so once they tie the knot, who knows if she’ll change her mind about having kiddos.

But one thing I know about myself is that I’m simply not interested, even if things do turn around. And the reason I feel that way is because I was in middle school when Barack Obama became president. For the first time in my life, after experiencing years of bullying from racist classmates throughout elementary school, I felt like there was hope for the future. As I made my way through high school, I felt like a lot of progress was happening. It felt like minority groups were finally being seen as real human beings. The Black Lives Matter movement officially started in 2013 in response to the tragic murder of Trayvon Martin. Seeing so many people come together, honoring the call to action to support the Black Lives Matter movement, filled me with hope. Same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide in 2015, and that felt like a huge win across the board for everyone. The LGBTQ community has always been an easy target for hateful people, so it felt like we were really making progress.

But the pendulum swings both ways, and as of now, it has swung hard and strong in the other direction. When Roe versus Wade was overturned in 2022, I realized that women will never fully be seen as people who are allowed to make decisions about our own bodies and our own autonomy. ICE agents are ripping families apart, forcing the immigrant community in this country to live in fear. Even Caucasian Americans have died when interacting with ICE agents.

This country has increasingly felt less safe and more blatantly racist under this current administration. My husband and I attempted to relocate out of the country to the Caribbean right after the 2024 election results were revealed, since I have family roots there. However, we were forced to return to America since it’s extremely difficult to find work in other countries when you don’t have citizenship there. As citizens of America, this is where my husband and I can find jobs to earn money to sustain ourselves. And even though we desperately attempted to relocate, it’s simply not possible when you don’t have the ability to earn an income.

A lot is going on, including the fact that AI is taking over, the job market is horrendous, people can’t afford basic necessities like gasoline and groceries anymore, disturbing levels of corruption have been exposed in our government, and most of us citizens have no voice or power to get any modicum of justice. All of this has been on my mind, and as I said, I’ve now seen the pendulum swing both ways.

I saw it swing in one direction when I was younger, filling me with hope, and now I’m seeing it swinging the other direction, filling me with dread. And if the pendulum of life is going to continue swinging both ways back and forth until I die, I’m not willing to bring a child into this world with delusional hopes that maybeee the next pendulum swing will last a little bit longer in a better direction.

I do think it’s good to be delusional in some areas of life, like when it comes to following your dreams and leaning into your passions, but I don’t think it makes sense to be delusional regarding something as crucial as bringing life onto this planet. I really do see it as bringing an unconsenting soul, who didn’t ask to be here, into the world. Babies don’t ask to be born, but they’re suddenly thrust into existence and forced to navigate accordingly. So, unless I can actually make sure my child won’t eventually become another labor slave for their own survival, I’m just simply not willing to do it.

This would be a different conversation if the natural resources of the world were free, by the way. If we were allowed to eat fruit off public trees, drink and drink fresh water from streams, this might be a different conversation. But every single natural resource on this planet has been packaged up and commodified. It’s actually pretty sinister tbh. And it makes me feel solidified about not having children.