There are certain super ugly habits I believe completely repel princess treatment. If you care about getting princess treatment in this lifetime, you have to be willing to get rid of some of your worst habits.

And that’s definitely something I personally had to do. I feel like Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl is a great example of someone who puts herself first, practices self-love, embodies self-respect, and consistently receives princess treatment.

Blair’s relationship to “princess treatment” is less about luxury and more about identity, control, and validation. Although the luxurious gifts and flowers are definitely part of the deal for her, of course. Across six seasons of Gossip Girl, Blair consistently seeks relationships where attention, effort, exclusivity, and devotion reinforce the story she tells herself about who she is. Which is that she’s a princess, worthy of receiving princess treatment.

Blair grew up in an environment where status, performance, beauty, and achievement matter. She’s intelligent and ambitious, but she also internalizes the idea that love should feel elevated and luxurious with fairytale princess energy. She goes for the Crème de la crème. Because of that, ordinary affection rarely satisfies her. She wants grand gestures, exclusivity, public loyalty, and being chosen in obvious ways.

Psychologically, “princess treatment” becomes symbolic for girls who operate like Blair. It isn’t just flowers or gifts. It means I am worth prioritizing.

Her attraction to men who treat her exceptionally reflects three deeper needs… First, security through devotion: Blair fears being replaceable. When a man goes above and beyond for her, she interprets that as protection against abandonment. Second, validation of her self-worth. She ties being adored to being valuable. Intentional attention from the guy she’s with becomes evidence that she truly matters. And third, control and predictability. Blair likes structure and narratives. Princess treatment creates a world where roles are clear in her mind. She gets to lock in the belief that she is cherished, which allows the relationship to feel stable.

This is especially visible in her dynamics with both Chuck Bass and Louis Grimaldi. Chuck appeals to her fantasy of being intensely chosen despite chaos. Louis appeals to the literal fairytale fantasy — although Louis eventually exposes the harsh truth that external princess labels and titles alone don’t create emotional intimacy.

Blair’s arc suggests something interesting in my book… She never stops wanting or expecting princess treatment. Instead, she slowly learns that being loved well isn’t the same thing as being idealized and idolized. That’s why Gossip Girl viewers (like me) still relate to her. Wanting princess treatment often isn’t about entitlement. Sometimes it’s about wanting reassurance that someone sees your value and acts accordingly. Blair operated in a way that inspires me a lot.

These are some examples of ugly habits everyone should avoid if you want to start attracting princess treatment in your own life, courtesy of Blair’s arc on Gossip Girl.

Don’t be easy AF

A lot of people believe it’s anti-feminist to advise against one-night stands and casual sex. People think no one should be judged for casual hookups with dudes who haven’t really made an effort to gain your trust and respect. But I don’t really care how anti-feminist I sound, because I know I’m a feminist who actually genuinely cares about the betterment of women’s lives. I’m a feminist through and through. And a piece of advice I picked up from Blair Waldorf is that I don’t think anyone should be casually hooking up or participating in one-night stands. A prime example from Blair was the time she had a one-night stand with Jack Bass of all people, and she instantly regretted it. She harbored so much shame and regret over that decision. And while nothing about sex itself is inherently shameful or regrettable, the concept of letting someone have access to you before they’ve actually earned a right to have access to you just doesn’t sit right with my spirit. People can have their own personal opinions about this all they want, but from my perspective, I think the smarter and healthier decision is making sure someone earns access to your body instead of just giving it up without a second thought. You have to keep in mind that in most one-night stands, the woman involved isn’t getting off or getting much pleasure from it anyway. In the majority of cases, it takes time for a man to learn a woman’s body and understand what really feels good for her. That’s typically not going to happen during your first experience with a stranger. So it just doesn’t even benefit a minute at all to have one-night stands. Learn from Blair, and don’t do it.

Realize forgiveness must be earned 

I think it’s also important to remember that forgiveness must be earned. Anyone who expects to receive princess treatment needs to keep this in mind. When someone screws up, they can’t just weasel their way back into your life without earning your forgiveness first. Shooting over a lazy text or tossing a lackluster apology into the conversation isn’t going to cut it. In Blair’s world, she only ever forgave Chuck Bass when he pulled off some grand gesture to get back into her good graces. The time he collected her favorite things from multiple countries when he wanted to reconcile with her was a super romantic example. He made a massive effort to prove he was willing to fight for her. Those moments matter. If someone hurts your feelings, and you let them back into your life at the drop of a hat, they’ll realize they don’t really have to work very hard to keep you around.

Stop accepting crumbs because you’re lonely

One thing I can never picture Blair Waldorf doing is accepting breadcrumbs just because she’s lonely. I never really saw Blair get too lonely on Gossip Girl, but even during her single girl eras, she wasn’t accepting breadcrumbs from dudes. Men who wanted her needed to show up with an entire metaphroical bakery to get noticed. Blair stayed busy pouring into herself, pursuing her own passions, and leaning into her ambitions during our single girl eras. She didn’t agree to date or hook up with anyone based on temporary loneliness. Crumbs don’t work on girlies like Blair, who expect tabletops covered in croissants, English muffins, and baguettes. Something that happens too commonly in the real world for lonely women is a willingness to accept breadcrumbs from potential romantic partners. If they aren’t willing to love you out loud, lock in with loyalty and commitment, or truly make you feel seen, then it’s not worth it to date them. It’s actually better to be lonely and single than lonely while in a relationship. One of Blair’s most iconic lines on the show was when she said, “You deserve a guy who would move Mountains to be with you if he had to.” And she was right.

Stop rewarding inconsistent effort

You’d never see Blair rewarding inconsistent effort, either. Rewarding inconsistent effort looks like still agreeing to let a guy come over, hang out with you, or sleep with you after he’s only offered up shotty communication for several weeks or months. Guys who go ghost for days at a time and randomly pop up when they feel like it are proving they don’t care enough to make a genuine effort. Instead of rewarding inconsistent effort, it’s crucial to match their energy, the way Blair Waldorf would. If they’re going to be inconsistent with you, get comfortable being inconsistent with them right back. Rewarding inconsistent effort shines the light on your lack of self-respect and lack of self-love. Blair once said, “I am not a stop along the way. I’m a destination.” Believing that about herself is what prevented her from rewarding inconsistent efforts from men.

Stop ignoring red flags because someone is attractive

Ignoring red flags just because you’re super attracted to someone is sure far away to repel princess treatment. Super attractive people don’t get a free pass to treat you shitty, just because they know they wield a bit of power since they’re good-looking. An example I have from Blair Waldorf is the way she immediately cut things off and her relationship with Marques Beaton after finding out he was having a secret affair with his stepmother, the Duchess. Blair was more attracted to Marques for his title as a Lord than anything else. But nevertheless, she was attracted to him and what their future could have looked like. But she cut him off because he was a walking red flag. And that’s what everyone should do if faced with that type of situation.

Stop being available 24/7

Being available 24/7 is a surefire way to show the person you’re dating that you don’t have much going on in your own life. And that makes it easier for the other person to lose respect and interest in you. Having your own life, your own passions, and your own ambitions is actually very attractive. When you spend too much time hyper-focused on the person you’re dating, it can make them feel overwhelmed and kind of annoyed. For the most part, no one wants to deal with needy or clingy partners. Being available 24/7 doesn’t make you look like the most thoughtful or attractive partner out there. When your schedule is full of activities you’re individually passionate about, you come across as a more well-rounded person who has so much going for you. And that is undeniably super attractive. It makes me think of Blair, who’s one of the most ambitious fictional characters of all time. She spent time focused on her studies at NYU and Columbia, fashion design after inheriting Waldorf Designs, her internship at W Magazine, all the galas and events she hosted, and so much more. You’d never be able to label Blair as a needy or clingy partner because that simply wouldn’t be accurate.

Stop treating potential as reality

Treating potential as reality is a terrible idea, and an easy way to start repelling princess treatment immediately. A huge part of me believes one of the reasons Blair‘s relationship with Dan Humphrey didn’t work out too well is because evidence didn’t outweigh the potential. Blair came from old money. She was born into a life of wealth and opulence. Dan didn’t. And even with his book deal and all the money he earned from getting published, he was still always going to be an outsider compared to the elites of the Upper East Side. If Blair treated potential as reality with Dan, there’s a chance she would’ve ended up super disappointed in the long haul. Blair was destined to end up with a Chuck, heir to his father’s billion-dollar empire. Chuck came directly from her world and always understood her perspective on life through and through. Chuck’s wealth and status weren’t a potential concept. It was a proven fact. It was who he always was at his core. And although Blair didn’t choose Chuck based on the financial aspect alone, the fact that he operated in her world with evidential proof of power instead of potential power certainly played a role.

Stop prioritizing getting picked over being compatible

You’ll absolutely repel princess treatment if you prioritize getting picked over true compatibility with your partner. One thing you’ll never hear someone say about Blair Waldorf is that she’s a pick-me girl. And that’s because she is not a pick-me. You might hear that about Serena or Jenny, but not Blair. There isn’t a shred of pick-me-girl energy in Blair Waldorf’s body. For her, compatibility is really everything. The strength of her relationship with Chuck stemmed from the fact that they were so compatible in every way. They understood each other‘s worldview. They were on the same wavelength mentally, financially, emotionally, and especially sexually. Getting picked didn’t matter nearly as much to Blair as compatibility did. Her relationship with Chuck thoroughly proved that.

Stop lingering when your standards aren’t met

It’s crucial to walk away when your standards aren’t being met if you ever expect to attract princess treatment. One example of Blair actually failing at this was when she attempted to stay in her relationship with Nate Archibald after she found out he cheated on her with Serena at the Shepherd wedding. But ultimately, she did walk away from that relationship. Months later, when she and Nate did try to reconcile after she healed from the pain of that betrayal, their relationship STILL ended on prom night because they felt they’d outgrown each other. I believe there’s a huge chance Blair and Nate would have never outgrown each other if he had remained loyal to her the whole time. The fact that he cheated broke Blair’s trust, which absolutely contributed to the demise of their relationship. It’s partially why their love story couldn’t stand the test of time outside of high school. All that being said, as soon as Blair found out about the cheating scandal, they should have broken up and stayed broken up. Blair needed maturity, consistency, and loyalty the whole time. She didn’t get that. We can all learn from Blair with this example. Walking away when your needs aren’t being met is obviously the smarter decision to make.

Blair Waldorf had multiple opportunities to receive princess treatment on Gossip Girl with different guys she dated.  At one point, there was even a chance for her to become a literal princess when she was on track to marry Prince Louis. Of course, her romantic feelings for Chuck got in the way of all that. But her relationships with Dan Humphrey and Chuck Bass both included several moments where Blair was being treated like a princess anyway. I’m not saying she was 100% perfect, and I’m not saying her relationships were completely flawless either. She definitely had her highs and lows in the romance department, but that’s what happens realistically in anyone and everyone’s life. Getting rid of bad habits that repel princess treatment doesn’t guarantee you’re going to have perfect romantic relationships and connections either. But it does give you a better chance at feeling happier, more fulfilled, and more taken care of in relationships while dating.