Happiness comes in different forms – at least that’s what people say when they’ve managed to achieve the happiness that a relationship can bring.

People in happy relationships typically have the intention to comfort their single friends, but that intention doesn’t always come across as comfort. Rather, it comes across as pity. No one wants pity. 

You have to remind yourself that you’re taking the necessary steps in preparation for settling down.

Yes, it’s good to want to establish a career and be financially stable on your own. No one wants to diminish the happiness that success can bring.

However, once those goals are met, what’s left?

Being unhappy about your singleness is valid

People are programmed to want connection, which is something success and independence can’t give you.

You take a look around you and see friends or family members getting married and starting their families, and you aren’t.

It’s a harsh reality to accept, so you tell yourself all the things you need to hear to make your reality better. 

You might currently be financially free, traveling, shopping, staying out until the sun comes up, drinking glasses your finest red after a long day at work, and more.

But there’s that nagging question in the back of your mind… Isn’t it human nature to want to be someone’s happiness? 

You want someone to give you as much devotion as you want to give them, as much as you know you’re capable of giving to someone. There’s nothing wrong with feeling this way – it’s human nature after all. 

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting a partner and drawing happiness and fulfillment from your relationship,” @mapleflavrd, a user on Reddit said.

People might have you believe that you don’t need anyone else to make you happy. They’ll try to convince you that if you depend on someone else for happiness, then there’s something psychologically wrong with you.

Oftentimes this results in you not being able to voice your concerns for your love life and what you want romantically because those opinions make you feel ashamed. This, however, is not the case. 

You have two choices here – Dwell in your circumstance or change it

These are some things to do if you’re unhappy about being single: 

1. Self-Reflection: It’s important to narrow down the root of your unhappiness and understand it. Questioning your unhappiness can lead to realizations that you never considered before. Are you truly unhappy with being single? What other factors could be contributing to your unhappiness? 
2. Embrace Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel unhappy about being single. Feeling this way is completely valid and accepting that you feel this way brings you one step closer to healing. 
3. Clarification: Take a moment or two to consider what you’re looking for in a relationship and what you want to take away from it. 
4. Self-Improvement: Use this time to your advantage and invest in personal growth. Being the best version of yourself not only makes you more attractive to potential partners, but it boosts your confidence.
5. Cultivate Contentment: Your happiness shouldn’t solely depend on your relationship status. Cultivating contentment and happiness within yourself, so that whether you’re single or in a relationship, you can still find fulfillment. “You need to be comfortable and with yourself,” @Majestic_Local_8750 said on Reddit. 

Acknowledging this void you feel in a healthy manner will help you avoid pursuing a relationship that doesn’t fulfill you.

“If you are just looking to fill a hole in your life, you will most likely not find a great partner,” @_Dingaloo said.

“You will find the first person that’s good enough, and you’ll probably indefinitely latch onto them.”  It’s better to be alone than to settle for anything less than you deserve. 

Cherish your time and recognize your worth, this is when you’ll notice a shift and be able to truly fill the void.