“The worst thing you can do as a woman is not be nonchalant,” TikToker @KamrinWhite says in an insightful TikTok video.
She goes on to explain the art of being nonchalant and the direct effect is has on your dating life.
“I think as women the worst thing we have is this idea of scarcity mindset whereas men have this idea of plentitude.”
Men assume that there is a never-ending pool of women for them to choose from whenever they please.
They understand a good woman is not hard to come by so they act accordingly. Women, on the other hand, have a more lack mindset when it comes to dating men. Here’s what needs to change.
Ditch the scarcity mindset and become nonchalant
Women often believe a good partner is hard to come by and so when one does, we don’t want him to slip away.
This mindset can manifest into us giving too much away, too early on. We think this will attract him more.
But giving too much time, attention, and energy to a man can have the opposite effect.
“Sh** literally all comes down to the chase. Nobody wants to hear it and nobody wants to play games but that’s kind of what it is.”
Think about it. Men don’t over-invest in relationships from the get-go. So, why should we?
Every time we unintentionally give off these desperate vibes, we give them the upper hand. Level the playing field out and be a little more nonchalant.
“I know that if I want to actually get to know someone and not romanticize this idea of them and fall in love with their potential, I have to date several people at one time because that way I literally cannot physically prioritize you.”
It allows you to decide who is the best fit for you, rather than settling and giving your all to one man just because he has the advantage of being the only person you’re dating.
It also forces you to divide your energy; this makes it harder to invest excessive energy into one man.
“If you draw back your energy you’ll realize how often the ideas that you created in your head are false and this persons not even as great as you thought they were.”
Basically don’t overthink and don’t try too hard. Live freely and let everything happen for you in this lifetime.
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