Navigating the path to healing after a breakup can be surprisingly gentle and straightforward.
Sharing her wisdom with those wanting to make their breakups a smooth transition, TikToker Becca Moore provides easy steps to follow. (Find her on Instagram @becccamooore.)
First: DON’T be extra with your Instagram Stories
Your first step is to avoid posting Instagram stories that will make it obvious you’re going through a breakup.
Becca says, “stop posting Instastories – no songs, no quotes, no words…”
All this does is create bad karma and a leftover feeling of ickiness. Beyond that, it makes it pretty damn obvious you’re hurting and still thinking about your ex.
Becca suggests keeping your posts completely neutral. Like, posting pics of your food, for example. But don’t go overboard doing that, either.
She also says it might be tempting to start posting yourself looking super hot, going out, and hanging out with guys, but don’t give in to the temptations! It’ll make you look like a try-hard.
So, just be normal on social, or better yet avoid it like the plague.
Second: DO dress with confidence when running errands
Becca continues her advice by suggesting you focus on feeling confident and forgiving yourself. Put on an outfit that flatters you and tell yourself how amazing you are.
Before running to the grocery store, coffee shop, or somewhere else to run an errand, get cute!
Spruce yourself up. The way you look on the outside can fully impact the way you feel about yourself on the inside.
She says there’s a different between trying to look confident and actually feeling confident.
Wear the pretty top, style your hair the way you like, and maybe dab on a little makeup if those things will help boost your self-esteem before you step outside for the day.
Third: BE forgiving of yourself
Forgive yourself for the feelings and actions that may come up.
Just because the relationship failed, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It simply means you have a new opportunity to seek a relationship with someone who better suits your needs.
It could also mean you have the chance to pour into yourself as a single girlie who isn’t being held back by anyone.
Forgive yourself whenever negative thoughts float into your mind.
Becca also says forgive yourself if you slip up and reach out to your ex after sipping a glass of wine. Sometimes, looking for those hints of closure and reassurance can be consuming.
Forgive yourself and try not to do it again! This advice from Becca is golden.
Fourth: EMBRACE the grieving process
Becca reminds us that, “Grieving is going to be hard. You just lost someone you loved.”
The tricky and frustrating thing about a romantic breakup is that you have to go through the grieving process of losing someone who is still alive.
When you grieve someone who’s died, it’s a lot different because they’ve passed on the spiritual realm.
Grieving someone who’s still very much alive, yet no longer proud of your life, can be paralyzing.
But it’s important to embrace the grieving process in whatever timeline is best for you.
There are many stages of grief, including shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance.
You might need to experience ALL of these stages, or just one or two of them.
Everyone is different.
Fifth: TALK about it till your friends get bored hearing about it
Make sure you talk to your friends about what you’re thinking and feeling. Keep going on and on until you’re bored.
At that point, you know all your feelings are out, and you can move on.
Becca suggests talking your friends ears off about your breakup until they start getting bored and annoyed of hearing about it!
The more you talk about it, the less you’re holding onto inside.
Instead of letting negative thoughts bounce around your head uncontrollably, it’s best to let them flow out of you as naturally as possible to anyone who has the time and patience to hear you out.
Be sure that you’re only sharing details about your breakup with people who have your best interest at heart.
You don’t want to deal with an untrustworthy friend repeating things you’re saying directly to your ex or to anyone else who could tell your ex what you’ve been saying!
If you aren’t harboring those negative feelings, then you’re less likely to explode on unsuspecting people.
Sixth: START journaling about it
Once your friends and loved ones have made it clear that they’re sick of hearing you vent about your breakup, it’s time to take it to the page.
Becca suggests that you should start journaling your thoughts to get everything out.
The coolest part about journalism? You can reflect on your thoughts down the line once you’re already healed and moved on.
You can also rip out your journal pages and (safely) set them on fire as a form of release.
Understand that you are not alone – everyone goes through breakups and loneliness – you aren’t the only one experiencing this.
Eventually, you are going to find the forever person you a supposed to be with.
When journaling, release your rage and fury, but don’t forget to remind yourself of all the positive stuff too.
Seventh: REMEMBER breakups are actually a good thing
Finally, it’s crucial to see the good in your breakup. Now you know what you do and don’t want in the relationship!
Becca says that you should look at your breakup through a positive lens because you know exactly what to avoid in future partners now.
She says to remember the point in time before you ever even met your ex when you were completely fine!
Remember, you are about to begin the most fun part – finding new people, getting butterflies again, and all the excitement that comes with it!
She encourages everyone to remind themselves that you’re going to be okay again, even though you’re single and haven’t met the right person you’re going to end up with forever just yet.
Keep in mind that heartbreak is universal. Becca notes that it’s far from isolating. Everyone has either gone through it or will go through it at some point.
The way we choose to respond and heal is the part we can control.
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