Breadcrumbing is the new ghosting… Maybe worse.
It’s a toxic dating trend where a person gives you just enough attention to keep you hooked but never commits.
The breadcrumber wants all the perks of a relationship – your attention, your intimacy, and your admiration. Without giving anything back to be able to have a full relationship with you.
They just do the bare minimum to keep you hooked but don’t go all out for you hence the term “breadcrumbing.”
Honestly, breadcrumbing can be draining emotionally especially when you’re at the receiving end of it.
There are a couple of reasons why a person may do this. They might be scared of commitments or they’re narcissistic manipulators who love toying with the emotions of people.
And none of it is your fault. According to a TikTok dating coach @Sabrina.Zohar, here are the ways you can avoid wasting your time and emotions with a breadcrumber.
Always set your boundaries and be clear with them
Set clear boundaries on the behaviors you can tolerate and the ones you draw the line at.
Let’s say you’re dating someone and you tell them date nights are very important to you in a relationship. They continue canceling plans and giving excuses why they’re not up for it.
It’s important you stay firm and don’t bend your boundaries because they can’t handle it.
You’re looking for someone who is more intentional and consistent. And that’s ok.
Decide that their words and actions need to align
If someone says they want a relationship with you, their actions need to match their words.
These are some questions Sabrina advises you to ask yourself to be sure.
“Do they show up consistently? Are they reciprocal to you? Are they getting to know you? Are they asking questions about you? Are they curious about you?”
If you don’t have a straight answer to these questions, you’re getting breadcrumbed. And it’s time to quit the relationship.
Communicate clearly and re-evaluate promptly
And if they keep going hot and cold, it’s time to re-evaluate things. First, you have to know your self-worth, you deserve better than half-baked efforts.
Then you need to draw their attention to their actions. They may not even be aware they’re doing it or the effects it has on you.
If they’re willing to have a conversation with you, great – hash it out and see what’s up with them.
If not, don’t waste your time with them, they are probably aware of their actions and that’s your answer right there.
Call it quits and move on. Remember, you are enough and you deserve better!
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